


A Heaven He Deserves

by starkytower



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Coda, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy Ending, I didn't intend for there to be but it probably has angst, M/M, Missing Scene, We deserved better guys, is there angst in here? I mean its supernatural. the answer is always yes, supernatural 15x20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27651803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkytower/pseuds/starkytower
Summary: Dean finds himself in a new heaven. It's a heaven he deserves, Bobby says.Why does that feel like an insult?-----------------------------I truly believe there was a missing family scene from 15x20 that could have actually saved it from being a shit show. This is my attempt to fill in that missing scene. Everything in the finale is the same up until the point Dean wakes up in heaven. This is my take on what was supposed to happen next.Ch. 1 is the scene as I believe it would have likely aired on TV. Implied requited Destiel, but you could still interpret it as platonic if you wanted to, I guess.Ch. 2 is the scene as I would have loved to have seen it on TV, with undeniably canon requited Destiel, bi!Dean included.Don't stress if you don't ship one of the relationships I've tagged, each character is mentioned for like a line - like the most explicit it gets (for everything not Destiel) is literally like, they sat next to each other at a table. I just tried to pair characters in groups I thought would have interesting/fun dynamics if all of the Winchester's family were in one room at the same time.
Relationships: Aaron Bass/Benny Lafitte, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Cesar Cuevas/Jesse Cuevas, Charlie Bradbury/Stevie (Supernatural: The Rupture), Dorothy Baum/Charlie Bradbury, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Jack Kline & Amara, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak, Meg Masters/Gabriel/Samandriel
Comments: 7
Kudos: 75





	1. The Heaven He Deserves - Implied Destiel Version

**Author's Note:**

> I hate that this show is making me write fanfic for the first time in 17 years. 
> 
> We deserved better guys. I truly truly believe Covid got in the way of this ending. I don't know why they felt like the way they rewrote was good enough, but it wasn't. We desperately needed that group scene to impart any of the messages this show has been trying to leave us with.
> 
> However, if they had included this scene, I think their intended messaging would have been made clear - that the writers and cast and crew's part of the story was done, and they handing over a blank slate to the fans to write our own stories - a brand new world in which anything could happen to any character we wanted, in any time frame we wanted. The new heaven they created was literally a perfect playground for fanfiction writers, if they had just made us feel like the family the boys had built was actually there. 
> 
> To be clear, neither of these are my preferred ending. In my preferred ending, Dean has to have the courage to live for love instead of die to receive it. But if they had to have someone die and it had to be Dean, then this is how I'd have wanted it to go.
> 
> As a bi person myself, I saw myself in Dean Winchester - what this ending did hurt so much, but I put hope in this - that this world and these boys can no longer be hurt by the people who have hurt us in the past. They are ours now. They will find happiness and love and acceptance if we say they do. So I'm saying it.  
> Anyway, I love you guys. Please remember that you deserve love and that you can find it in this world.
> 
> Also, go donate to the Castiel Project, all proceeds go to the Trevor Project. You deserve a happy ending too friends. 💙  
> https://give.thetrevorproject.org/fundraiser/3037563

It’s beautiful here and Dean allows himself to let his guard down. The mountains go on for miles around him - he’d always liked the mountains. They didn’t have any views like this in Lawrence. It reminded him how huge the world was outside his little life in the bunker, and really, with so many beings - humans, angels, monsters, gods - trying to force the weight of the world onto his shoulders, it was nice to feel insignificant sometimes.

In the quiet, Dean nods, acclimating to this new reality he finds himself in. “Well at least I made it to heaven.”

“Yep.” a gruff, familiar voice says.

Dean’s brow furrowed with suspicion - he didn’t expect to see Bobby. He knew Bobby was a better father than his real father to him and Sam, but it didn’t feel right that Bobby would be his soulmate. He must be a memory.

Dean looks around to realize he’s sitting on the front porch of Harvelle’s Roadhouse, and that wasn’t right - the Roadhouse was in the flatlands of the midwest - not the mountainous areas he’s surrounded by now. And Bobby - Bobby shouldn’t be here. No way in hell those angel dicks let him go.

“What memory is this?” Dean asks.

Bobby huffs out a laugh, “It ain’t, you idjit.”

Dean is suddenly on guard again. “Yeah it is,” Great. Turns out he’s in some new version of hell - or the angels really did hate him enough to torture him even in heaven. Those dicks were probably looking on and laughing at him now. “Cuz last I heard you -” or not you really, but the Bobby that whatever this thing was was emulating “- you were in heaven’s lockup.”

His life’s training moves him to find a better place for a defensive position, looking out among the trees to spot any threats waiting for the right opportunity - when they decide to attack, he’ll be ready.

He’s looking for any kind of makeshift weapon when maybe!Bobby says, “Was. Now I’m not.”

Dean turns to look at him - it sounded too good to be true. Which never ends well for Dean. But Chuck is gone. That could have changed heaven in some way. Maybe Bobby being in lockup had been Chuck’s story.

Bobby continues, “That kid of yours,”

_Jack?_ Dean realizes. _Jack’s here?_

“before he went...wherever...made some changes here.”

Of course Jack was here and of course he made changes. Jack would have hated the walls in heaven - it’s too lonely. Not enough family. Not enough room for love. That sounds plausible. Maybe this really was Bobby.

Dean hmm’d, and decided he might as well listen and see what happens. What are they gonna do, kill him again? He grabs a chair as Bobby continues to tell him about Jack.

“Busted my ass out. And then he… well… he set some things right.” Bobby nods. “Tore down all the walls up here.”

_All the walls?_ Dean feels his heart skip and he looks around to see confirmation that what Bobby says is true - to see these torn down walls. He doesn’t see anything. He should have expected that really, but he needs to know. Like, all the walls within heaven? Or - no, he couldn’t mean… _**all**_ the…

“Heaven ain’t just living your golden oldies anymore. It’s what it always should have been.” Bobby says as he looks out at the trees.

_What heaven should have been._ Images immediately flash through his mind - no.

“Everyone happy.” Bobby continues and Dean fights a smile that begins to form. He never got to have what made him happy on earth. Maybe now he might... - no, he can’t let himself hope. Not to have it ripped away from right in front of him. Not again. Not like this. Dean knows what to expect when it comes to good things.

“Everyone together.” Bobby looks back over to him.

Dean’s heart stops. He thinks of his family - his friends - all separated far too soon. Everyone together, Bobby had said. And the walls? His hope starts to piece together in his chest against his wishes. Surely, he couldn’t mean - blue and tan flit across his minds’ eye. But the black goo that engulfs it dashes any hope he had growing within him.

“Rufus lives about 5 miles that way.” Bobby points into the distance.

Dean looks and thinks he might see smoke from a chimney.

“With Aretha.” Wait - what? Bobby mumbles, “Thought she’d have better taste.”

Well Dean can’t argue there.

“And your mom and dad?”

Dean stops - Mom and Dad were here? Together? I mean, he should have known, he knows, everyone together would obviously mean them too, but - no, that’s too good to be true. He’s speechless. He’s wanted this for more years than he can remember. His parents, actually together, no countdown to midnight in sight. And he can just go visit them whenever he wants.

Jack, Lucifer’s child, a nephilim, his boy Jack, really came up here and made him a heaven his family always dreamed of. He gave Mary her perfect heaven - a heaven with John, where Dean and Bobby and Rufus and his whole family could see her anytime. A heaven where she was happy. He thinks of his parents at that dinner table in the bunker. The smiles and how light they both were. They have that now. Thanks to Jack.

He breathes in forgiveness and exhales something he hadn’t realized had been tightened around his chest since he was 6 years old.

Bobby catches his eye and waits as Dean processes this information.

When Dean finally meets his eye, he sees Bobby’s smile. “It ain’t just heaven Dean. It’s the heaven you _deserve_.”

Oh.

Of course.

Dean’s smile stills. It sure is pretty damn close to his perfect heaven isn’t it? He’s grateful, he really is. He’ll get to spend eternity with his family and all the friends he’s made along the way. But he knows there’s one person who didn’t get to die and go to heaven, whose fate was much _emptier_ than that.

_The heaven I deserve, huh?_ Figures, he had just started to believe that wasn’t true back on earth. To believe he might actually deserve something more than a lifetime on his own. He’s not exactly surprised - but it still hurts to come face to face with the universe confirming his worst thoughts.

Bobby stands and moves to the door to the roadhouse, beckoning for Dean to stand too. When he does Bobby slaps a hand on Dean’s back and uses his other hand to open the screen door and reach for the door knob. Dean realizes he can hear the muted bars of a classic rock song - is that Zeppelin? Of course it is.

“We’ve been waiting for ya.” Bobby says, and he pushes the door open.

Inside, the Roadhouse is filled with life and laughter. Dean can’t believe what he’s seeing and scans the room to take it all in, a smile rising on his face. Bobby gives Dean’s neck one last squeeze and goes to sit at a table with his wife Karen who is enjoying a conversation with Missouri Moseley.

Behind the bar, Ellen and Jo are serving drinks alongside Pamela Barnes. Pamela looks up and notices Dean enter and winks, through healthy, non-burnt out eyes.

At the corner of the bar, Ash flips his mullet, now reaching down past his waist and cracks some quip funny enough that Garth throws his whole body back to laugh, jostling his wife who has her arm around his shoulders. Their kids are running and giggling around the room, which clearly irritates the table where Ketch, Toni, and Mick are all looking much too civilized for the space they occupy. Bela Talbot makes her way over the table with a round of pints for the group.

He hears laughter at a table nearby and sees Donna sitting with her family of Wayward girls. Alex and Patience are laughing loudly at some joke that Wendy Hanscum has just made. Dean smiles to himself when he notices Kaia and Claire are only half-paying attention, their feet wrestling together under the table. Nearby, Jody has stopped to talk to Krissy Chambers, who was sharing a plate of french fries with Josephine and Aiden.

Dean’s heart freezes for a moment when he sees the people at the neighboring table are Lisa Braeden & Ben. Ben looks up at Dean, noticing he’s entered the bar. He squints, as if he is trying to place where he might know Dean from, before he goes back to enjoying one of Ellen’s home-cooked meals together with his mom. He asks for the ketchup from the blonde across the table. She turns her head to look for the bottle, and it knocks the wind out of Dean when he recognizes her as Jess Moore.

At one of the long tables in the room sits a horde of Ghostfacers, all excitedly arguing about if pink Himalayan salt was a better protection against specters than iodized table salt. An amused looking Jesse and Cesar Cuevas sit at their table, a horse-riding helmet hanging off the back of Cesar’s chair.

He notices Kevin and his mother engaged in a serious conversation with Dean’s brother Adam. All three have become hardened versions of who they were when they’d first met, but in this bar they also appear quite at ease and content. Dean thinks the three might have a lot to gain in friendship with each other.

He double takes as he sees two Charlies at a large table - for a moment, he’s concerned Charlie's split herself again. But he calms when he sees at one Charlie’s side sits Dorothy, and at the other Charlie’s side sits the hunter Stevie. They’re joined by a group of other hunters Dean recognizes from Apocalypse World, and Dean notices the pages of paper and colorful sets of dice spread out across the table as Dorothy’s Charlie animatedly spins some story for the group.

Dean has to acknowledge how crazy his family really is when he sees Hell’s royalty has come to visit in this new heaven, sitting together at a table sharing a cup of tea. He’s glad to see that Crowley and Rowena have found some kind of common ground and managed to work something out long enough for a conversation. Though he’s a bit surprised to see Crowley here really. Didn't ever think he'd be the heaven kind of guy.

Nothing prepared him for the surprise of seeing Benny Lafitte sitting with Aaron Bass, Aaron’s golem fitting extremely uncomfortably into the small corner booth seat the three share. Benny notices Dean and tips his hat, an easy smirk on his lips, before slinging an arm over the back of the seat behind Aaron’s back. When the golem doesn’t immediately rip him into a bunch of tiny vampire pieces, Dean huffs a disbelieving laugh. Huh. He definitely wouldn’t have called that one.

But wait, how is Benny here and not in Purgatory?

His curiosity begins to grow and he looks closer at the rest of the people in the crowd. He sees Meg and Gabriel in a corner booth, sitting on either side of a very terrified, very flustered looking Samandriel. Meg and Gabriel glare at each other and the mildly threatening, but maybe flirtatious, energy from the table radiates across the bar. Dean does not envy Samandriel in the slightest and is a bit concerned for the safety of everyone in the room, really.

In a corner of the room he sees Hannah and Anael engaged in quiet conversation and has a bit of a panicked moment. Hannah is the first to see Dean and she immediately looks anywhere but where he is. Ana looks up to see what has caused this much awkwardness in her friend when she also sees Dean. She smiles and gives Dean a small wave. He nods shortly and gives a brisk smile, the discomfort of seeing old flames meeting each other hanging heavy in the air.

But soon, what he’s seeing finally catches up with him.

_There are angels here._

Angels who died. Here. In heaven.

When Bobby said Jack tore down the walls, he couldn’t have meant - did Jack really tear down **_ALL_** the walls? Dean's eyes flicker frantically around the room, searching. Who he finds is not who he’s looking for.

Instead, he finds Becky Rosen. She sits in the back of the room at a table with her husband Rod and her two kids. The man and children are playing together with a table full of miniatures, but Becky has been watching Dean since the moment he entered the bar, laptop open in front of her.

Dean’s pretty sure his question is clear in his eyes and she smiles, knowingly. She nods her head toward the door to the backroom.

Dean’s heart races and shoots immediately into his throat. The door swings open and a dark haired man pushes through the door, back first, but Dean would know that dirty trench coat anywhere.

Dean is already half-way across the room, sliding by tables and pushing around empty chairs, when Castiel turns around, a plate of apple pie in hand. He only notices Dean when he’s 6 feet in front of him.

Cas’ eyes widen and his face opens brightly. “Dean - ”

But Dean’s hand on Cas’ shoulder stops whatever Cas intended to say. Dean meets his eyes and grins, his voice coming out with a whisper, “Hey, Cas.”

The surprise fades from Cas’ face and it melts and leaves only joy in its wake. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean feels everything slide into place. He’s lighter than he’s ever felt - what Cas said back in the bunker's dungeon was true and here it was laid out in front of him so he can't ignore it. He won't ignore it. Good things _can_ happen. Dean deserves to be loved. He's been given a heaven he deserves and in that heaven is love.

Dean moves his hand up to cup the side of Cas’ face. Cas, surprised by the gesture, squints his eyes slightly as he works out what it is Dean is saying. Dean huffs out a disbelieving laugh - he can’t believe he gets to have this. That he’s here. Dean’s eyebrows raise and he lets what he feels express itself openly across his face and it’s then that Cas understands. His eyes widen, questioning, and Dean’s softened eyes and small nod provides him the confirmation he needs. Cas’ smile widens and softens and he leans his head into Dean’s caress. Their eyes meet and years of things unsaid between them are shared in one look.

“Dean freaking Winchester!” someone calls out from the bar.

A chorus of “Dean?” goes out across the room and Dean is broken away from Cas’ gaze when he feels an arm tugging him to join in with the rest of the group there.

In the split second before he is completely torn away to a parade of hugs and slaps on the back, Dean’s eyes flicker back to meet Becky’s. Her laptop has been closed and she is packing it away. A grin splits across her face and Dean laughs freely. _Thank you_ he realizes he means.

And then Garth squeezes the daylight out of Dean and he’s gathered into the welcoming arms of his family. 

* * *

Several people have retired for the day and the sun is beginning to shine through the window above the booth that he, Cas, and Bobby are sharing, reflecting the shadows of hours well spent through the empty beer bottles on the table. Ellen has dropped off a final round for the day, some cold El Sols, dad’s favorite. The three click the bottles together and take a drink.

“Wow.” Dean says, “This tastes like the first beer I ever shared with my dad.”

“This is a high quality beer?” Cas asks.

“No.” Dean huffs a laugh that Bobby echoes. “It’s crap.” Dean smiles, “But it was fantastic.”

The three share a look. “Just like this.” Bobby says.

Dean looks around at the bar, at the family that remains around the room, at the people around the table with him, and he nods his agreement. Cas has a quizzical look on his face, but Dean slaps his back reassuringly and lets his hand rest on Cas’s neck.

“Cas, you and Jack gave me everything I could ever need. Everything I could ever want, or dream. It’s…” Dean trails off, “It’s almost perfect.” His smile is authentic and it is happy, but there’s also the mourning grief of separation lying beneath it.

Cas understands, “Dean. He’ll be along.”

Dean looks away for a moment and then back to Cas, nodding slightly. He knows. He hopes it's soon but also he doesn’t. Sam deserves to live a long happy life. It’s what Dean’s always wanted for him.

As Cas always has, since the moment they met, Cas sees right through him, “Time up here… it works different.” he reassures.

Dean considers this. He looks out the window for a moment and Bobby and Cas return to conversation. He sees the trees and the hills, sees friends stumbling back home for the night, and he knows that this is good. And then he sees her in the parking lot - his Baby, long black lines stark against the golden sky.

“I think I’m gonna go for a drive.” He says, still looking outside. He looks back at the table to see Bobby smiling already knowing, Cas, worry written across his face.

Dean slides himself out of the booth.

“Dean - I could go w-” Cas starts.

“ _Stay_ , Cas. It’s okay.” Dean squeezes his shoulder, reassuring. “You’ll be here when I get back?” The “please” and the "I **am** coming back to you," are unspoken but loud.

Cas relaxes into a smile, “Of course, Dean. I’m not going anywhere.” Of course he’ll stay. Dean’s heart fills, a truth he hadn’t known he’d needed to hear until now.

He pats Cas on the back one more time, and nods at Bobby when Bobby lifts his beer to him.

He’s on his way out the door when it opens of its own accord. He grins when he sees her, knowing what it means.

“Hi Eileen.” Dean signs.

“Hi Dean.” she signs back and smiles. “Bring him home.”

She finds Cas at the table and slides into Dean’s empty seat. Cas smiles when he sees her, and introduces her to Bobby.

* * *

Outside, Dean admires the beauty of his car. He slides his hand from the trunk and along the side until he reaches the driver side door. He leans in to see the clean lines of her interior - they look more beautiful than ever. “Hey Baby.” he says.

It’s in this quiet moment that he feels a weird pulling sensation inside of him - one he’s felt before.

“Amara?” He wonders aloud.

He turns around to find the source. On a hilltop overlooking the Roadhouse, he sees them.

Jack.

Dressed in all white denim, he’s been watching him. Jack smiles shyly and holds up a hand in greeting. He’s god yes, but he’s also still Dean’s kid, still unsure of himself in Dean’s gaze.

Dean smiles back - all bitterness having melted away. “Thanks Jack.” he says in a voice no human would be able to hear considering the distance they have between them. “I’m proud of you kid.”

Jack lowers his hand and smiles wide.

Dean opens the car door, waves a hand in Jack’s direction, and slides into the driver’s seat.

He takes a moment just to feel the feeling of being behind the wheel before he turns on the tape deck. The opening bars of Kansas float through the air.

“I love this song.” He starts the engine and he drives.

He drives until he comes to a bridge in the forest. For some reason, he knows he should stop here. He shuts off the engine, and steps out of the car.

Dean walks around Baby’s front end, tapping her hood with affection, and finds a place on the bridge’s railing. He looks out over this world _his_ family created - this new place that he gets to truly do whatever he wants. Be whoever he wants. Feel whatever he wants. With whoever he wants. There’s no plan, no story to be told, no fight to fight, just him and whatever he chooses to do. It’s relief - freedom - that washes over him.

And then he feels it.

He smiles to himself - the last piece to this perfect new world sliding into place.

“Hey, Sammy.”

And there is peace.


	2. A Heaven He Deserves - Destiel & bi!Dean edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this one is more of a best case scenario, wishful thinking sort of thing. Think of it as like, the finale if Bobo got to write it instead.
> 
> Except Bobo would have done it better in a way that ripped your heart out more than I can ever hope to succeed at. 
> 
> Anyway, I had a blast with this one. Clear Destiel in this one friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I also finished writing this chapter really late and realized I wrote in the new Destiel scenes into a copy of an earlier draft so there’s some mistakes in here for the moment. I’ll be back to edit them ASAP, but be patient with this one for now.

It’s beautiful here and Dean allows himself to let his guard down. The mountains go on for miles around him - he’d always liked the mountains. They didn’t have any views like this in Lawrence. It reminded him how huge the world was outside his little life in the bunker, and really, with so many beings - humans, angels, monsters, gods - trying to force the weight of the world onto his shoulders, it was nice to feel insignificant sometimes.

In the quiet, Dean nods, acclimating to this new reality he finds himself in. “Well at least I made it to heaven.”

“Yep.” a gruff, familiar voice says.

Dean’s brow furrowed with suspicion - he didn’t expect to see Bobby. He knew Bobby was a better father than his real father to him and Sam, but it didn’t feel right that Bobby would be his soulmate. He must be a memory.

Dean looks around to realize he’s sitting on the front porch of Harvelle’s Roadhouse, and that wasn’t right - the Roadhouse was in the flatlands of the midwest - not the mountainous areas he’s surrounded by now. And Bobby - Bobby shouldn’t be here. No way in hell those angel dicks let him go.

“What memory is this?” Dean asks.

Bobby huffs out a laugh, “It ain’t, you idjit.”

Dean is suddenly on guard again. “Yeah it is,” Great. Turns out he’s in some new version of hell - or the angels really did hate him enough to torture him even in heaven. Those dicks were probably looking on and laughing at him now. “Cuz last I heard you -” or not you really, but the Bobby that whatever this thing was was emulating “- you were in heaven’s lockup.”

His life’s training moves him to find a better place for a defensive position, looking out among the trees to spot any threats waiting for the right opportunity - when they decide to attack, he’ll be ready. He’s looking for any kind of makeshift weapon when maybe!Bobby says, “Was. Now I’m not.”

Dean turns to look at him - it sounded too good to be true really. Which never ends well for Dean. But Chuck is gone. That could have changed heaven in some way. Maybe Bobby being in lockup had been Chuck’s story.

Bobby continues, “That kid of yours,”

 _Jack?_ Dean realizes. _Jack’s here?_

“before he went... _wherever_...made some changes here.”

Of course Jack was here and of course he made changes. Jack would have hated the walls in heaven - it’s too isolating. Not enough family. Not enough room for love. That sounds plausible. Maybe this really was Bobby.

Dean 'hmm’d', and decided he might as well listen and see what happens. What are they gonna do, kill him again? He grabs a chair as Bobby continues to tell him about Jack.

“Busted my ass out. And then he… well… he set some things right.” Bobby nods. “Tore down all the walls up here.”

 _All the walls?_ Dean feels his heart skip and he looks around to see confirmation that what Bobby says is true - to see these torn down walls. He doesn’t see anything - he should have expected that really - but he needs to know. Like, all the walls within heaven? Or - no, he couldn’t mean… **_all_** the…

“Heaven ain’t just living your golden oldies anymore. It’s what it always should have been.” Bobby says as he looks out at the trees.

 _What heaven should have been._ Images immediately flash through his mind - no.

“Everyone happy.” Bobby continues and Dean fights a smile. He never got to have what made him happy on earth. Maybe now he might... - no, he can’t let himself hope. Not to have it ripped away from right in front of him. Not again. Not like this. Dean knows what to expect when it comes to good things.

“Everyone together.” Bobby looks back over to him.

Dean’s heart stops. He thinks of his family - his friends - all separated far too soon. Everyone together, Bobby had said. And the walls? His hope starts to piece together in his chest against his wishes. Surely, he couldn’t mean - blue and tan flit across his minds’ eye. But the black goo that engulfs it dashes any hope he had growing within him.

“Rufus lives about 5 miles that way.” Bobby points into the distance. Dean looks and thinks he might see smoke from a chimney in the distance. “With Aretha.” Wait - what?

Bobby mumbles, “Thought she’d have better taste.” Well Dean can’t argue there.

“And your mom and dad?” Dean stops - Mom and Dad were here? Together? I mean, he should have known, he knows, everyone together would obviously mean them too, but - no, that’s too good to be true. He’s speechless. He’s wanted this for more years than he can remember. His parents, actually together, no countdown to midnight in sight. And he can just go visit them whenever he wants.

Jack, Lucifer’s child, a nephilim, his boy Jack, really came up here and made him a heaven his family always dreamed of. He gave Mary her perfect heaven - a heaven with John, where Dean and Bobby and Rufus and his whole family could come visit whenever they wanted. A heaven where she was happy. He thinks of his parents at the dinner table in the bunker. The smiles and how light they both were. They have that now. Thanks to Jack.

He breathes in forgiveness and exhales something he hadn’t realized had been tightened around his chest since he was 6 years old.

Bobby catches his eye and waits as Dean processes this information. When Dean finally meets his eye, he sees Bobby’s smile. “It ain’t just heaven Dean. It’s the heaven you deserve.”

Oh.

Of course.

Dean’s smile stills. It sure is pretty damn close to his perfect heaven isn’t it? He’s grateful, he really is. He’ll get to spend eternity with his family and all the friends he’s made along the way. But he knows there’s one person who didn’t get to die and go to heaven, whose fate was much emptier than that.

 _The heaven I deserve, huh?_ Figures, he had just started to believe that wasn’t true back on earth. To believe he might actually deserve something more than a lifetime on his own. He’s not exactly surprised - but it still hurts to come face to face with the universe confirming his worst thoughts.

Bobby stands and moves to the door to the roadhouse, beckoning for Dean to stand too. Dean stands and Bobby slaps a hand on Dean’s back. Bobby opens the screen door and puts his hand on the door knob. Dean realizes he can hear the muted bars of a classic rock song - is that Zeppelin? Of course it is.

“We’ve been waiting for ya.” Bobby says, and he pushes the door open.

Inside, the Roadhouse is filled with life and laughter. Dean can’t believe what he’s seeing and scans the room to take it all in, a smile rising on his face. Bobby gives Dean’s neck one last squeeze and goes to sit at a table with his wife Karen who is enjoying a conversation with Missouri Moseley. Behind the bar, Ellen and Jo are serving drinks alongside Pamela Barnes. Pamela looks up and notices Dean enter and winks, through healthy, non-burnt eyes.

At the corner of the bar, Ash flips his mullet, now reaching down past his waist and cracks some quip funny enough that Garth throws his whole body back to laugh, jostling his wife who has her arm around his shoulders. Their kids are running and giggling around the room, which clearly irritates the table where Ketch, Toni, and Mick are all looking much too civilized for the space they occupied. Bela Talbot makes her way over the table with a round of pints for the group.

He hears laughter at a table nearby and sees Donna sitting with her family of Wayward girls. Alex and Patience are laughing loudly at some joke that Wendy Hanscum has just made. Dean smiles to himself when he notices Kaia and Claire are only half-paying attention, their feet wrestling together under the table. Nearby, Jody has stopped to talk to Krissy Chambers, who was sharing a plate of french fries with Josephine and Aiden.

Dean’s heart freezes for a moment when he sees the people at the neighboring table are Lisa Braeden & Ben. Ben looks up at Dean, noticing he’s entered the bar. He squints, as if he is trying to place where he might know Dean from, before he goes back to enjoying one of Ellen’s home-cooked meals together. He asks for the ketchup from the blonde across the table. She turns her head to look for the bottle, and it knocks the wind out of Dean when he recognizes her as Jess.

At one of the long tables in the room sits a horde of Ghostfacers, all excitedly arguing about if the pink himalayan salt was a better protection against specters than iodized table salt. An amused looking Jesse and Cesar Cuevas sit at their table, a horse-riding helmet hanging off the back of Cesar’s chair.

He notices Kevin and his mother engaged in a serious conversation with Dean’s brother Adam. All three have become hardened versions of who they were when they’d first met, but in this bar they also appear quite at ease and content. Dean thinks the three might have a lot to gain in friendship with each other.

He double takes as he sees two Charlies at a large table - for a moment, he’s concerned Charlie's split herself again. But he calms when he sees at one Charlie’s side sits Dorothy, and at the other Charlie’s side sits the hunter Stevie. They’re joined by a group of other hunters Dean recognizes from Apocalypse World, and Dean notices the pages of paper and colorful sets of dice spread out across the table as Dorothy’s Charlie animatedly spins some story for the group.

Dean has to acknowledge how crazy his family really is when he sees Hell’s royalty has come to visit, sitting together at a table sharing a cup of tea. He’s glad to see that Crowley and Rowena have found some kind of common ground and managed to work something out long enough for a conversation. Though he’s a bit surprised to see Crowley here in heaven really.

Nothing prepared him for the surprise of seeing Benny Lafitte sitting with Aaron Bass, Aaron’s golem fitting extremely uncomfortably into the small booth seat the three share. Benny notices Dean and tips his hat, before slinging an arm over the back of the seat behind Aaron’s back. When the golem doesn’t immediately rip him into a bunch of tiny vampire pieces, Dean huffs a disbelieving laugh. Huh. He definitely wouldn’t have called that one.

But more than that, how is Benny here and not in Purgatory?

His curiosity begins to grow and he looks closer at the rest of the people in the crowd. He sees Meg and Gabriel in a corner booth, sitting on either side of a very terrified, very flustered looking Samandriel. Meg and Gabriel glare at each other and the mildly threatening flirtatious energy from the table radiates across the bar. Dean does not envy Samandriel in the slightest and is a bit concerned for all their safety, really.

In a corner of the room he sees Hannah and Anael engaged in quiet conversation and has a bit of a panicked moment. Hannah is the first to see Dean and she immediately looks anywhere but where he is. Ana looks up to see what has caused this much awkwardness in her friend when she also sees Dean. She smiles and gives Dean a small wave. He nods shortly and gives a brisk smile, the discomfort of old flames meeting one another hanging heavy in the air. But soon, what he’s seeing finally catches up with him.

**_There are angels here._ **

Angels who died. Here. In heaven. When Bobby said Jack tore down the walls, he couldn’t have meant - did Jack tear down **_ALL_** the walls?

Dean's eyes flicker frantically around the room, searching. Who he finds is not who he’s looking for. Instead, he finds Becky Rosen. She sits in the back of the room at a table with her husband Rod and her two kids. The man and children are playing together with a table full of miniatures, but Becky has been watching Dean since he entered the bar, laptop open in front of her. Dean’s pretty sure his question is clear in his eyes and she smiles, softly, knowingly. She nods her head toward the door to the backroom.

Dean’s heart races and shoots immediately into his throat. The door swings open and a dark haired man pushes through the door, back first, but Dean would know that dirty trench coat anywhere. Dean is already half-way across the room, sliding by tables and pushing around empty chairs, when Castiel turns around, a plate of apple pie in hand. He only notices Dean when he’s 6 feet in front of him.

‘Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just saying it.’ Cas had said.

Bullshit. He wanted to have this.

And Dean was always more a man of action than words anyway.

Cas’ eyes widen and his face opens brightly. “Dean - ”

Dean crashes into Cas, pulling at that damned lopsided blue tie, and capturing Cas’ lips with his own. The apple pie crashes to the ground but Dean barely hears it. Cas stands frozen, disbelieving, but when Dean’s hand makes its way to Cas’ neck, Cas moves into action, sucking in a breath, and bringing a hand up Dean’s side to rest on his arm.

Dean feels everything slide into place. He’s lighter than he’s ever felt - what Cas said was true and here it was laid out in front of him so he couldn’t ignore it. He wouldn’t ignore it. Good things could happen. Dean deserved to be loved. He had been given a heaven he deserved and in that heaven is love.

When Dean pulls away, he meets Cas' eyes and grins, his voice coming out with a whisper, a bit of breathlessness, “Hey, Cas.”

The surprise fades from Cas’ face and it melts and leaves only joy in its wake. “Hello, Dean.”

“You’ve always had me, you know that Cas?” Because man of action or not, Cas was right. It needs to be said, “You can have me.” He feels his tear ducts sting and looks to see Cas’ eyes watering too, but he looks broken.

“- Dean.” Cas’ face has fallen and he steps out of Dean’s space, “Dean, I’m not an angel anymore.”

Dean’s thrown. This was not the answer he expected.

“When Jack...He pulled me out of the Empty before the walls came down - I had to… I had to leave my grace behind Dean.” Cas looks at Dean expectantly, begging him to understand.

But Dean didn’t follow. What the hell was Cas on about?

“Dean. I’m not a,” Cas exhales a large breath, “being of celestial intent. Not anymore. You don’t have to...”

Dean still doesn’t understand. That’s great, but what does that have to do with -

Cas rolls his eyes, “Dean, I’m just a man now.” Cas looks at him pointedly, “A man. And I know you only like - ” His eyes slide over to where Anael has been watching them from the side of the room.

 _Oh_.

_**OH.** _

Dean can’t help it. He laughs. Cas’ face falls, and Dean has to say something now. “Cas, you idiot. We’re both absolute idiots.”

Dean moves his hand up to cup the side of Cas’ face. Cas is surprised by the gesture, squinting his eyes slightly as he works out what it is Dean is saying. “Cas, since when have I only liked women?”

Cas’ eyes squint harder and Dean returns a pointed look. Cas’ eyes dart around the room, finally resting on Benny and Aaron and Ash, even Crowley, none of whom seem surprised by what they just witnessed. His gaze returns to Dean, who raises his eyebrows and lets his face speak for him.

Dean knows the second it dawns on Cas.

“Oh.” Cas says. He’s still processing but a hopeful smile begins to grow on his face.

Dean huffs out a disbelieving laugh. “I love you, Cas.”

Cas’ smile widens and softens and this time, it’s Cas that pulls Dean back in. Dean grins into the kiss. He can’t believe he gets to have this. That he’s here.

They pull away, Cas’ hand where his handprint used to be, and Dean with his hand tangled in Cas’ hair. Their eyes meet and years of things unsaid between them are shared in one look.

“Dean freaking Winchester! It’s about time!” Charlie calls out from her table.

It’s as if she’s broken some kind of seal, and the entire roadhouse erupts with noise. Dean feels a tug at his arm, and he breaks his gaze with Cas to look out across the room and their family. In the split second before he is completely torn away to a parade of hugs and slaps on the back, Dean’s eyes flicker back to meet Becky’s. Her laptop has been closed and she is packing it away. A grin splits across her face and Dean laughs freely. Thank you - he realizes he means. And then Garth pulls Dean into a hug and he’s gathered into the arms of his family.

* * *

Several people have retired for the day and the sun is beginning to shine through the window above the booth that he, Cas, and Bobby are sharing, reflecting the shadows of hours well spent through the empty beer bottles on the table. Ellen has dropped off a final round for the day, some cold El Sols, dad’s favorite. The three click the bottles together and take a drink.

“Wow.” Dean says, “This tastes like the first beer I ever shared with my dad.”

“This is high quality beer?” Cas asks.

“No.” Dean huffs a laugh that Bobby echoes. “It’s crap.” Dean smiles, “But it was fantastic.”

The three share a smile. “Just like this.” Bobby says.

Dean looks around at the bar, at the family that remains around the room, at the people around the table with him and he nods his agreement. Cas has a quizzical look on his face, but Dean lets the hand that had been resting on the back Cas’s neck rub reassuring circles into the baby hairs there.

“Cas, you and Jack gave me everything I could ever need. Everything I could ever want, or dream. It’s…” Dean trails off, “It’s almost perfect.” Dean says. His smile is authentic and it is happy, but there’s also the mourning grief of separation behind it.

Cas understands, “Dean.” he plants a hand on Dean’s knee and squeezes. “He’ll be along.” Dean looks away for a moment and then back to Cas, nodding slightly.

He knows. He hopes it's soon but also he doesn’t. Sam deserves to live a long happy life. It’s what Dean’s always wanted for him.

As Cas always has, since the moment they met, Cas sees right through him, “Time up here… it works different.” he reassures. Dean considers this.

Dean looks out the window for a moment and Bobby and Cas return to conversation. He sees the trees and the hills, sees friends stumbling back home for the night, and he knows that this is good. And then he sees her in the parking lot - his Baby, long black lines stark against the golden sky.

“I think I’m gonna go for a drive.” He says, still looking outside. He looks back at the table to see Bobby smiling already knowing, Cas, worry written across his face. Dean slides himself out of the booth.

“Dean - I could go w-” Cas starts.

“ _Stay_ , Cas, please. It’s okay.” Dean plants a kiss on top of Cas’s head, letting his hand fall to rest on his shoulder, reassuring. “You’ll be here when I get back?”

Cas relaxes into a smile - “Of course, Dean. I’m not going anywhere.”

Of course he’ll stay. Dean’s heart fills, a truth he hadn’t known he’d needed to hear until now. He squeezes Cas’s shoulder one more time, and nods at Bobby when Bobby lifts his beer to him.

He’s on his way out the door when it opens of its own accord. He grins when he sees her, knowing what it means.

“Hi Eileen.” Dean signs.

“Hi Dean.” she signs back and smiles. “Bring him home.”

She finds Cas at the table and slides into Dean’s empty seat. Cas smiles when he sees her, and introduces her to Bobby.

* * *

Outside, Dean admires the beauty of his car. He slides his hand from the trunk and along the sides of the doors until he reaches the driver side door. He leans in to see the clean lines of her interior - they look more beautiful than ever. “Hey Baby.” he says.

In a moment of pure indulgence, Dean’s eyes rest on the back seat, imagining. His eyes flit back to the roadhouse for a second, before he reconsiders. Another time.

It’s in this quiet moment that he feels a weird pulling sensation inside of him - one he’s felt before.

“Amara?”

He turns around to find the source. On a hilltop overlooking the Roadhouse he sees them.

Jack.

Dressed in all white denim, he’s been watching him. Jack smiles shyly and holds up a hand in greeting. He’s god yes, but he’s also still Dean’s kid, still unsure of himself in Dean’s gaze.

Dean smiles back - all bitterness having melted away. “Thanks Jack.” he says in a voice no human would be able to hear from the distance they are between them. “I’m proud of you kid.”

Jack lowers his hand and smiles wide.

Dean opens the car door, waves a hand in Jack’s direction, and slides into the driver’s seat. He takes a minute just to feel the feeling of being in his car before he turns on the tape deck. The opening bars of Kansas float through the air.

“I love this song.” He starts the engine and he drives.

He drives until he comes to a bridge in the forest. And for some reason, he feels he should stop here.

He shuts off the engine, and steps out of the car.

He walks around her front, tapping her hood with affection, and finds a place on the bridge’s railing.

He looks out over this world his family created - this new place that he gets to really truly do whatever he wants. Be whoever he wants. Feel whatever he wants. With whoever he wants. There’s no plan, no story to be told, no fight to fight, just him and whatever he chooses to do. It’s relief - freedom - **_love_** \- that washes over him.

And then he feels it.

He smiles to himself - the last piece to this perfect new world sliding into place.

“Hey Sammy.”

And there is peace.


End file.
